Category Archives: Emotions

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My Book of Imperfections: Would you like a copy?

By | Dating, Emotions, Love, Millennials, Relationships, romanticism, Self-help, Single | No Comments

Each of us has an unwritten but deeply inscribed “book” inside that catalogs our insanities and imperfections… but when do you show your lover those chapters? 

I’ve been enamored, of late, with The Course of Love, a book by Allain de Botton, and his other work exploring and exposing Romanticism. (He has books, videos, newsletters, and more, if the bug of debunking romanticism bites you too!)

He says in one of his lectures that “We don’t need people to be perfect, we just need them to have a handle on their imperfections.” As a dating coach, it’s actually helpful if my clients are straightforward and unabashed about their imperfections – that way we know what to package as “working on it” and what to package as “charmingly offbeat or eccentric.”

De Botton jokes that the perfect wedding gift one could give to one’s beloved is a large book entitled, “My Insanities.” Every one of us is a smidge disturbed. Every one of us can drive or be driven mad. When we say “til death do us part” we’ve just claimed our ticket to a ringside seat on our partner’s insanities – and given them a backstage pass to our own.

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You’re Not Forever Alone

By | Dating, Emotions, Forever Alone, Love, Millennials, Relationships, Self-help, Single, Uncategorized | No Comments

The thought crosses every person’s mind who is single at one time or another. Will I ever “find the one?” or will I be “forever alone.” The answer is all based on your attitude.

Negativity is love repellent, instantly killing chemistry’s chances of making a match. Meeting people, interacting, and dating are all dependent on the attitude and aura we put out into the world.

For instance, when we first meet someone in a local scene, a first impressions is made in the first seven seconds. That means that the attitude and demeanor that we present will be what people believe we are, at least until there is deeper interaction which is dependent on the first impression. If we meet someone and we have the “I’m forever alone” attitude then we are setting ourselves up for failure, basically we are being a self-fulfilling prophesy.

It’s no secret, a large percentage of the population is jaded about love but it’s also no secret that we can make the conscious decision to change our attitude and present more positivity, even though it’s hard. (P.S. It’s not only millennials that throw out this phrase and feel “forever alone.”)

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Autumn

October Resolutions

By | Dating, Emotions, Fall, Love, Relationships | No Comments

October is upon us, the end of the year is at our door step. Did you have New Years Resolutions? I know, the conversation should be all about jack-o-lanterns and falling leaves but did you follow them through?

Was branching out, challenging yourself, and meeting someone one of your resolutions?

If you didn’t follow through, or if you’ve gotten stuck, you don’t need to wait till January to reset your initiative. Let’s make October a month of achievement and personal growth.
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Stories of Triumph

By | Dating, Emotions, Love, Relationships, Self-help | No Comments

Tyler

A busy entrepreneur who had spent his 20’s building a thriving

business. His team at work was his pseudo-family but he wanted something

more. He wanted to meet a woman who was smart, kind, and had a passion for

life. Oh, and not afraid of the outdoors! He reached out to us and after an

extensive interview, we determined he was someone we could make a difference

for so we began a 6 month matchmaking program with him.

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Shame. Overcome It.

By | Dating, Emotions, Love, Relationships, Self-help | No Comments

Shame. It’s been a hot topic in the self-help universe since Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly came out. I’ve wanted to talk about it for a long time. But I wasn’t ready yet.

I had my own shame to process:

Shame over projects started but not finished (at least not very quickly).
Shame about relationships that didn’t turn out the way I thought they would.
Shame about all the countless times I dropped the ball or stuck my head in the sand as a mother.

I get the shame game. I even got pretty immersed in it for a while. And my prayer is that it doesn’t keep anyone else from being who they are and taking steps to getting what they want for even one minute. Especially if the thing you want is love and connection and romance and relationship.

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