The Date Maven Blog

This is where the blog lives. If you’re a blogger as well (or maybe even a podcaster!) and you’re searching for new content, I’m available to guest blog or talk about these topics on your show. Just email me at

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October Resolutions

By | Dating, Emotions, Fall, Love, Relationships

October is upon us, the end of the year is at our door step. Did you have New Years Resolutions? I know, the conversation should be all about jack-o-lanterns and falling leaves but did you follow them through?

Was branching out, challenging yourself, and meeting someone one of your resolutions?

If you didn’t follow through, or if you’ve gotten stuck, you don’t need to wait till January to reset your initiative. Let’s make October a month of achievement and personal growth.
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7 Strangely Creative Dates

By | Uncategorized

You’ve tried all the best restaurants. You’ve seen every movie that’s out! You love spending time together, but you’re running out of things to do. Here’s a list of some odd-but- promising date activities that will infuse fresh energy into your dating routine.


1. Go to a mattress store and test out mattresses together.  (We mean, like, just lay down and rest on them — please don’t take this sideways — yet!)

2. Watch a depressing movie together. But make a drinking game of it. Order a pizza so you have carbs to help balance out the drinking. Then every time the heroine sheds a tear or the music score swells to an emotive crescendo, you take a shot.

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Stories of Triumph

By | Dating, Emotions, Love, Relationships, Self-help


A busy entrepreneur who had spent his 20’s building a thriving

business. His team at work was his pseudo-family but he wanted something

more. He wanted to meet a woman who was smart, kind, and had a passion for

life. Oh, and not afraid of the outdoors! He reached out to us and after an

extensive interview, we determined he was someone we could make a difference

for so we began a 6 month matchmaking program with him.

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Bookstore Bravado

By | Uncategorized

Your couch keeps you comfortable. That’s kind of the essence, form, and function of it, right? However, comfort is the antithesis of what it takes to get you up and out and socializing and dating. The line “Life starts outside your comfort zone” is totally true.

If you enjoy sports, attend sporting events. If you enjoy the arts, attend cultural events. Strike up conversations with individuals in ticket lines, coffee lines, grocery store lines, any lines! (I got hit on in line for the bathroom once. It was a little odd. That line might be better for making friends than finding dates. Just saying.) Where to go and how to hunt is one of the first things I cover with my coaching clients when they’re first getting started with me.

A current client of mine loves the bookstore as the place to scope out potential singles. She likes to see what people are reading as a view to what makes them tick. I recently asked one client, “What type of books do you like to read? What’s your genre?” Whatever your answer is – that’s the first aisle in the book store you should be camping out in.

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Shame. Overcome It.

By | Dating, Emotions, Love, Relationships, Self-help

Shame. It’s been a hot topic in the self-help universe since Brene Brown’s book Daring Greatly came out. I’ve wanted to talk about it for a long time. But I wasn’t ready yet.

I had my own shame to process:

Shame over projects started but not finished (at least not very quickly).
Shame about relationships that didn’t turn out the way I thought they would.
Shame about all the countless times I dropped the ball or stuck my head in the sand as a mother.

I get the shame game. I even got pretty immersed in it for a while. And my prayer is that it doesn’t keep anyone else from being who they are and taking steps to getting what they want for even one minute. Especially if the thing you want is love and connection and romance and relationship.

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Can Women and Men Be Friends?

By | Dating, Love, Relationships

There is one debate that’s been tossed around in relationship conversations since the Rob Reiner movie, When Harry Met Sally and Friends with Benefits starring Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake: whether men and women can really be friends, like the platonic (well kind of platonic when referring to Friends with Benefits…I mean like being friends.)


Many relationship experts will insist that a lasting male/female friendship is impossible. But then I have friends who are matchmakers whose opposite-sex friends are an indispensable part of their lives. There are glowing exceptions to every rule, aren’t there?


The thinking is that “men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way,” as Billy Crystal’s character Harry says. He adds that “no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive.”


I find this is true more often than not. I’ve tried – with patience and with simple, easy expectations – to keep my friendships with guy friends going, but one thing inevitably puts an end to them: they meet a girl. It happened with Cooper. It happened with Sid. And it happened with Jackson. We were having a ball! – a platonic ball, just to be clear – trying the new brews, sharing stories, and filling in the blanks of what we saw on each other’s Facebook feeds.

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9 Red Flags (That You Know You Bleach White)

By | Dating, Love, Relationships

Guys do it. Girls do it. We put on the glasses that allow us to look at a red flag and see them as white. (Or maybe a pale and palatable shade of pink.) You might say they’re “Bleaching Lenses” because they have the power to distort the way you perceive someone’s behavior. You want to be the girlfriend (you’re trying so hard to be the girlfriend!) but thanks to those lenses that help you bleach red flags white (with thanks to Jenny McCarthy for turning that phrase), you might do any number of these things:

1. You hear yourself saying the words, “I’m kinda, sorta seeing this guy…” but he’s never called you his girlfriend in front of anyone. And you’d feel kind of weird and embarrassed if he heard you calling yourself his girlfriend. In fact, the G-word just doesn’t get thrown around.

2. You hear yourself saying, “We’re only ‘talking’ (texting)” or “We’re only hooking up.” And you pretend like that’s fine, but get a few more martinis down and you can finally admit it’s not.

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Tell Me About Yourself…

By | Dating, Love, Relationships, Uncategorized


It’s Spring, a time of renewal, and a time to get honest about what you really want. In just about every first date situation, you’ll be asked the question, “How would you describe yourself?” or instructed to “Tell me about yourself!” While this is something that should be expected and thought through, many novice daters and other singles overlook the importance of this opportunity and don’t take the time to prepare meaningful answers.
The best advice I can give is to describe yourself in an honest, authentic manner. Talk about what you value – not just the superficial activities that make up the busyness of your life. For example: “I am . . .

1. “Someone who is consistently growing. I invest the time to continue learning and improving myself.”

People who are growth-oriented are attracted to like-minded people. If you can communicate that you set goals for yourself and you want someone special to celebrate your achievements with – “like attracts like,” as the saying goes!

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Online Dating: Don’t Be Greedy!

By | Uncategorized


Turn on the TV during the month of January and you will undoubtedly encounter a commercial touting the success rates and marriage statistics of a major online dating site. January is indeed the most abundant month in the online dating game.

And if you take the number of married couples who met online and compared it to the total number of married couples in the general population, you might get a reasonably good metric of success! But are those successes the result of brilliantly engaging site design and awesome algorithms or are they the result of access to more and bigger markets?

What if you take the number of singles who tried dating online and compared it to the number who met a relationship partner online — the number of “attempts” compared to the number of “wins?” That might paint a fairer picture.

Still, it can’t hurt to try.  Read More

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