Each of us has an unwritten but deeply inscribed “book” inside that catalogs our insanities and imperfections… but when do you show your lover those chapters?
I’ve been enamored, of late, with The Course of Love, a book by Allain de Botton, and his other work exploring and exposing Romanticism. (He has books, videos, newsletters, and more, if the bug of debunking romanticism bites you too!)
He says in one of his lectures that “We don’t need people to be perfect, we just need them to have a handle on their imperfections.” As a dating coach, it’s actually helpful if my clients are straightforward and unabashed about their imperfections – that way we know what to package as “working on it” and what to package as “charmingly offbeat or eccentric.”
De Botton jokes that the perfect wedding gift one could give to one’s beloved is a large book entitled, “My Insanities.” Every one of us is a smidge disturbed. Every one of us can drive or be driven mad. When we say “til death do us part” we’ve just claimed our ticket to a ringside seat on our partner’s insanities – and given them a backstage pass to our own.