Myths About Matchmaking — Debunked

If trying to meet men or women feels like a second job, hiring a matchmaker is a sound choice because a matchmaker undertakes the task for you. This frees up your time, you avoid awkward situations, and you remain comfortably ensconced in your real work and daily routines.

But for various reasons, misunderstandings abound about what matchmakers do and how we do it. There’s no reason to treat someone whose life mission is to help people experience more love like a pariah! Here are 5 myths about matchmaking… and the real truth. 
 
Myth #1. You shouldn’t need to use a matchmaker.

Some people are unskilled at romance, some are capable but just super busy. You should never feel bad and think “I shouldn’t have to resort to using a matchmaker.” The fact is, many elevated and educated individuals use matchmakers every day.  A professional matchmaker is trained to sort through the chaff and find you the kernel of golden wheat that you desire!  Also, no matter becomes of the connections you make with the people you meet through us, the benefits of having your matchmaker coach you on your dating game never expires. The lessons learned during your matchmaking experience will stay with you and benefit you in all of your relationships going forward.

Myth #2. It can be crazy expensive.

Top matchmakers in large metropolitan areas do typically have higher fees. One serious matchmaking firm in New York city commands $50,000-$500,000 for a 1 year agreement and another quality matchmaker charges $15,000 for 6 months — plus a $5,000 success fee if you enter a relationship that lasts more than 6 months. 

Our “midwest-based” fees begin at $5,500, and we know we’re worth it because we only take on people we’re confident we can be successful with. We work hard for our clients, and we introduce you to multiple compatible matches in a relatively condensed period of time. We set a minimum standard for ourselves of providing at least one eligible date per month. We rely not only on our large network in the region but on the networks of our peers across the country (and even the world), expanding your dating pool and enhancing your options. That leads to . . .

Myth #3. You don’t learn anything. 

When you team up with us as your matchmakers, you’ll be going on qualified dates each month, with people we personally vet. Our goal isn’t just to find someone “nice” but to find candidates you could potentially see yourself marrying. Along the way, we teach and coach about how to better understand and enjoy social interactions, gender communication differences, flirting, personal image, personal values and lifestyle preferences, and more. With every date, you learn something — not just about the other person but about yourself and about the art and science of courtship.  

You are not only a more savvy dater than you were prior to your introductions, but a more savvy relationship partner. 

Not all matchmakers offer dating advice, so that’s a fair question to ask if you’re evaluating options amongst matchmakers. We do, so we know we’re providing a higher value experience to our clients compared to the matchmakers who don’t. If the matchmaker’s sole purpose is to match you with people from their network that they think you’d be compatible with, you deserve to know that up front. We go the extra mile and give you added value by teaching you how to navigate online dating, build a connection — even how and when to have “the relationship talk.” 

Myth #4. We have limited options.

Some people are spreading the rumor that matchmakers will only ever set you up with someone within our own immediate network. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. We are essentially executive recruiters with big hearts and a wide reach. We source individuals for our matchmaking clients at cafes, in bars, in churches, book clubs, professional development groups, on social media, at concerts, through friends, at charity events, and more. We have access to thousands of single men and women, from sea to shining sea! There is no cap on our dating pool. 

Myth #5. Your matches will be undesirable. 

We get it, you’re worried you won’t get good matches! However, it’s safe to assume that most people enrolling in matchmaking services are professional, career-oriented individuals. We carefully screen both men and women for you to ensure that they are in it for the right reasons. Questionnaires, multiple interviews, deep-dive questions and personality inventories — all are tools at our disposal. Our job isn’t to just put a body in front of you; our job is to put the right somebody in front of you. We weed out anyone with a criminal record and/or other major red flags. We provide security. 

Myth #6. Matchmakers don’t really care.

This one is just sad to imagine — that there are people who might have this perception. The truth is: We love to see people meet and marry; we love to have a hand in helping people enrich their lives. That’s what incentivizes us to work for you. Our “year end bonus” is the hugs and the thanks we get from satisfied clients who are living their best lives. It may sound cheesy, but it’s not like we get a kickback for every baby born or every anniversary our couples make. There’s intrinsic joy and satisfaction in helping others find love. We get the satisfaction of knowing we played a role in their love story! 

If you’re going to make the self-investment of retaining a matchmaker, there are some things you can do to ensure you’re picking a good one. 

1. For every matchmaker you consider, Google their name along with the keyword “lawsuits.” If you Google that term along with The Date Maven, you’ll find there have been no legal actions against or negative reviews our company . 

2. Ask about the matchmaking process. We are ready to explain it to you. The process should seem clear and efficient to you. We want you to have an accurate a picture of what your matchmaking experience will be like.

3. Maintain reasonable expectations. Know that connection is something that can becreated and chemistry isn’t always immediate — it can take time (especially the older we get). If you are expecting to be dazzled, you must BE someone who dazzles! And know that some of your dates won’t work out, but that’s OK, because you’re not looking for a harem, you’re looking for the ONE! 

4. Consider (and reconsider) your dealbreakers. 
During our first meeting, we’ll sit down and ask you about your “Must Have’s” and “Non-negotiables.” You’ll describe your ideal mate and we’ll help you distinguish between wants and needs so that your list gives meaningful guidance, but doesn’t result in someone being tossed out who’s worthy of consideration. 

5. Be Patient
You’re an adult, so you know not to expect a fairytale first date. But it’s important to also understand that the matchmaking process gets refined with each passing month, as we learn more and more about your personality, your personal preferences, and how you show up in the world. As we stated earlier, you’ll be building dating skills you didn’t even know some people had. Having those skills will enable you to date as many men or women you meet outside of your matchmaker as you’d like.

Let a professional matchmaking team (one that’s also a date coaching team) guide you through the dating scene. There is nothing contrived about using a matchmaker to gain the key to dating; it’s one of the oldest, most respected professions in many countries. You don’t have to give up the reigns to your dating life when you hire a matchmaker; it’s a partnership, not an outsourcing. While we’re busy beating the bushes for someone worthy of your company, we’ll also teach you how to use online dating, we’ll give text coaching, we’ll help you interpret and apply modern dating rules, and we’ll even teach you how to rebound after a bad date — plus we’ll provide feedback after every date. 

When you team up with us, you’ll have “Mars/Venus” coaching — a dual, male/female coaching perspective with advice from experienced professionals. We’ll always be glad to teach you how to catch fish on your own. But we also know where some super-stocked ponds are at that you aren’t likely aware of. Or you just may not know which bait to use in. 

We have a higher than average success rate. While we can’t promise exact outcomes for everyone, we’ve ushered most of our singles into a meaningful relationship in as little as 3 months time. 

How do you take a step forward to learn more about how this works and if it’s right for you? 

Book a 1-hour Dating Audit & Strategy Session today to learn how together, we can change your relationship status. During our session, we’ll discuss your dating and relationship history, talk about your blind spots, create a massive action plan, and see if our concierge-style matchmaking service is a fit for you!