If trying to meet men or women feels like a
second job, hiring a matchmaker is a sound choice because a matchmaker
undertakes the task for you. This frees up your time, you avoid awkward
situations, and you remain comfortably ensconced in your real work and daily
routines.
But for various reasons, misunderstandings abound about what matchmakers do and
how we do it. There’s no reason to treat someone whose life mission is to
help people experience more love like a pariah! Here are 5 myths about
matchmaking… and the real truth.
Myth #1. You shouldn’t need to use a matchmaker.
Some
people are unskilled at romance, some are capable but just super busy. You
should never feel bad and think “I shouldn’t have to resort to using a
matchmaker.” The fact is, many elevated and educated individuals use
matchmakers every day. A professional matchmaker is trained to sort
through the chaff and find you the kernel of golden wheat that you
desire! Also, no matter becomes of the connections you make with the
people you meet through us, the benefits of having your matchmaker coach you on
your dating game never expires. The lessons learned during your matchmaking
experience will stay with you and benefit you in all of your relationships
going forward.
Myth
#2. It can be crazy expensive.
Top
matchmakers in large metropolitan areas do typically have higher fees. One
serious matchmaking firm in New York city commands $50,000-$500,000 for a
1 year agreement and another quality matchmaker charges $15,000 for 6
months — plus a $5,000 success fee if you enter a relationship that lasts more
than 6 months.
Our
“midwest-based” fees begin at $5,500, and we know we’re worth it
because we only take on people we’re confident we can be successful with. We
work hard for our clients, and we introduce you to multiple compatible matches
in a relatively condensed period of time. We set a minimum standard for
ourselves of providing at least one eligible date per month. We rely not only
on our large network in the region but on the networks of our peers across the
country (and even the world), expanding your dating pool and enhancing your
options. That leads to . . .
Myth #3. You don’t learn anything.
When you team up with us as your matchmakers, you’ll be going on qualified
dates each month, with people we personally vet. Our goal isn’t just to find
someone “nice” but to find candidates you could potentially see
yourself marrying. Along the way, we teach and coach about how to better
understand and enjoy social interactions, gender communication differences,
flirting, personal image, personal values and lifestyle preferences, and more.
With every date, you learn something — not just about the other person but
about yourself and about the art and science of courtship.
You are not only a more savvy dater than you were prior to your introductions,
but a more savvy relationship partner.
Not all matchmakers offer dating advice, so that’s a fair question to ask if
you’re evaluating options amongst matchmakers. We do, so we know we’re
providing a higher value experience to our clients compared to the matchmakers
who don’t. If the matchmaker’s sole purpose is to match you with people from
their network that they think you’d be compatible with, you deserve to know
that up front. We go the extra mile and give you added value by teaching you
how to navigate online dating, build a connection — even how and when to have
“the relationship talk.”
Myth
#4. We
have limited options.
Some people are spreading the rumor that matchmakers will only ever set you up
with someone within our own immediate network. This couldn’t be farther from
the truth. We are essentially executive recruiters with big hearts and a wide
reach. We source individuals for our matchmaking clients at cafes, in bars, in
churches, book clubs, professional development groups, on social media, at
concerts, through friends, at charity events, and more. We have access to
thousands of single men and women, from sea to shining sea! There is no cap on
our dating pool.
Myth #5. Your matches will be
undesirable.
We get it, you’re worried you won’t get good matches! However, it’s safe to
assume that most people enrolling in matchmaking services are professional,
career-oriented individuals. We carefully screen both men and women for you to
ensure that they are in it for the right reasons. Questionnaires, multiple
interviews, deep-dive questions and personality inventories — all are tools at
our disposal. Our job isn’t to just put a body in front of you; our job is to
put the right somebody in front of you. We weed out anyone with a criminal
record and/or other major red flags. We provide security.
Myth
#6. Matchmakers don’t really care.
This one is just sad to imagine — that there are people who might have this
perception. The truth is: We love to see people meet and marry; we love to have
a hand in helping people enrich their lives. That’s what incentivizes us to
work for you. Our “year end bonus” is the hugs and the thanks we get
from satisfied clients who are living their best lives. It may sound cheesy,
but it’s not like we get a kickback for every baby born or every anniversary
our couples make. There’s intrinsic joy and satisfaction in helping others find
love. We get the satisfaction of knowing we played a role in their love
story!
If you’re going to make the self-investment of retaining
a matchmaker, there are some things you can do to ensure you’re picking a good
one.
1. For every matchmaker you consider, Google
their name along with the keyword “lawsuits.” If you Google that term along with The Date Maven, you’ll find
there have been no legal actions against or negative reviews our company
.
2. Ask about the matchmaking process. We are ready to explain it to you. The process
should seem clear and efficient to you. We want you to have an accurate a
picture of what your matchmaking experience will be like.
3. Maintain reasonable expectations. Know that connection is something that can becreated and
chemistry isn’t always immediate — it can take time (especially the older we
get). If you are expecting to be dazzled, you must BE someone who dazzles! And
know that some of your dates won’t work out, but that’s OK, because you’re not
looking for a harem, you’re looking for the ONE!
4. Consider (and reconsider) your
dealbreakers.
During our first meeting, we’ll sit down and ask
you about your “Must Have’s” and “Non-negotiables.” You’ll
describe your ideal mate and we’ll help you distinguish between wants and needs
so that your list gives meaningful guidance, but doesn’t result in someone
being tossed out who’s worthy of consideration.
5. Be Patient
You’re an adult, so you know not to expect a
fairytale first date. But it’s important to also understand that the
matchmaking process gets refined with each passing month, as we learn more and
more about your personality, your personal preferences, and how you show up in
the world. As we stated earlier, you’ll be building dating skills you
didn’t even know some people had. Having those skills will enable you to date
as many men or women you meet outside of your matchmaker as you’d like.
Let a professional matchmaking team (one that’s
also a date coaching team) guide you through the dating scene. There is nothing
contrived about using a matchmaker to gain the key to dating; it’s one of the
oldest, most respected professions in many countries. You don’t have to give up
the reigns to your dating life when you hire a matchmaker; it’s a partnership,
not an outsourcing. While we’re busy beating the bushes for someone worthy of
your company, we’ll also teach you how to use online dating, we’ll give text
coaching, we’ll help you interpret and apply modern dating rules, and we’ll
even teach you how to rebound after a bad date — plus we’ll provide
feedback after every date.
When you team up with us, you’ll have
“Mars/Venus” coaching — a dual, male/female coaching perspective
with advice from experienced professionals. We’ll always be glad to teach you
how to catch fish on your own. But we also know where some super-stocked ponds
are at that you aren’t likely aware of. Or you just may not know which bait to
use in.
We have a higher than average success
rate. While we can’t promise
exact outcomes for everyone, we’ve ushered most of our singles into a
meaningful relationship in as little as 3 months time.
How do you take a step forward to learn more
about how this works and if it’s right for you?
Book a
1-hour Dating Audit & Strategy Session today to learn how
together, we can change your relationship status. During our session, we’ll
discuss your dating and relationship history, talk about your blind spots,
create a massive action plan, and see if our concierge-style matchmaking service
is a fit for you!